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"Shahzad Akbar, Special Assistant to the Prime Minister on Accountability, the party's PEP needs to be sent on a refresher course pronto."
"PEP stands for politically exposed person and need I add, it doesn't apply to this guy as he is going after Pakistani PEPs with mouth watering assets in foreign countries and this man doesn't have any assets abroad though I cannot say that with certainty......"
"Excuse me, but when I said PEP Shahzad Akbar needs to be sent on a refresher course, I defined PEP as Politically Erudite Pollster or someone who is knowledgeable in the art of catching Politically Exposed Persons. See it takes a PEP to catch a PEP!!"
"So what's your beef with Akbar? He said he wanted to hire Ishaq Dar as a consultant because Dar knows how to..."
"My God, you are cautious! Anyway, my point is Dar has already given a detailed, 43-page detailed affidavit, surely Dar's work is done... so what does Akbar need Dar for?"
"Dar said he gave the affidavit under torture..."
"Yeah, but that wasn't a very smart move either was it! I mean that led to the court deciding to reopen a case against him (Dar). From where I am sitting that means Dar not only didn't have his cake but didn't eat it too. You gotta be pretty dumb to place yourself in such a situation."
"He is sitting pretty in London and no one has so far touched him..."
"The Pakistan government is focused on touching him as you put it, and if we fail the British government can take his money away given their new laws, he is heckled whenever he leaves his flat and no one is really listening to his side of the story..."
"True, but Dar is from the old school, he used the old methods to launder money and bank it abroad, I mean those methods are no longer in use by the modern day PEPs and if Akbar wants to hire Dar then there is a problem."
"But Akbar is tasked to catch the old PEPs not the new ones."
"OK, so what would you give Dar as salary for being a consultant?"
"He won t come for less than a million dollars a month tax free."
"Why that amount?"
"Because that is the amount Dar claimed the UAE Sheikh gave him every month from the time he was released by Musharraf in 2002 to the time he returned to the country in 2008 to justify around 92 crore rupees... oh, and it has to be in cash, so one would need how many camels you reckon?"
"Oh shush."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2018

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